At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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