He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
