Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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