Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
pop tarts are not kleenex
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
