I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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