I'm so fucking centered right now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
