turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
