dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
