We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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