Its about making memories worth repressing
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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