im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
