eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
