I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
