fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
