I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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