I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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