so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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