I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
