no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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