marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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