help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
