you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
