I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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