I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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