just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
