my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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