I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
