so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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