I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize