I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
