I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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