i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
