Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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