i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
