Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
