i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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