I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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