Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
