dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You may now shotgun with the bride
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
