I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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