I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
