I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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