Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
