She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
