we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The best revenge is premature balding
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
