My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
worst night to have a conscience
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize