On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
