remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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