he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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