I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
