...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
