Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
