I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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