Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
