Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
