Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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